Print this pageMarriage and Religion
Elder Wayne Crocker
When a man and woman contemplate serious courtship and marriage, what consideration should be given to the matter of religion? Too often, this most important matter receives little or no serious thought. In most cases physical attraction, prospects of a good living, personality and worldly interests are considered much more important than the compatibility of the two people's religion or lack of religion.
Nothing should have a higher priority in a Christian's life than the duty to serve the Lord in an acceptable manner. A member of or believer in the true New Testament Church (known today as Primitive Baptist) should never be willing to forsake his or her church in order to appease the wishes of a spouse. Certainly, it should not be done to appeal to a prospective mate!
The teachings of Jesus and the apostles should be carefully applied to these situations. The command of Jesus to "seek ye first the kingdom of God, anu ais righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you" (Matthew 6:33) most surely does apply to choosing a spouse for life. Paul instructed that one should be married "only in the Lord" (I Corinthians 7:40). Certainly a believer in Jesus Christ should never consider marrying one who is an unbeliever.
Often there is courtship and marriage between a couple who believe in Christ, but belong to different denominations. I do not believe marriage is forbidden in such cases. But there are some problems that must be worked out before the courtship gets too serious and marriage is planned. Thn Primitive Baptist must let the other person know his or her faith will not be surrendered. The friend should be invited to attend our church and should have explained to him or her what we believe and why we believe it.
If the other person does not attend church regularly, it should be understood that if marriage occurs and children result, they will attend service regularly rather than staying home with the parent who does not attend.
Should this be too restrictive on the part of your proposed spouse, it is evident that his or her love is not as strong as it needs to be. The courtship should be ended. To avoid undue heartache one's devotion to Christ and His church should be made known near the beginning of the courtship before becoming too emotionally involved.
Those who are already involved in a marriage where there are conflicts over religion must make the best of their situation. Paul writes: "If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him" (I Corinthians 7:12-13).
1 Peter 3:1-2 states: "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear." This is teaching that one involved in a mixed marriage is to continue to fulfill his or her marital obligations in a Christian manner. Continually pray that the spouse will be brought to an appreciation of the Lord and His church.
However, nothing should prevent a Christian from being faithful to the Lord. Do not forsake the assembling with the saints to appease a spouse who does not care for the church. Every effort should be made to handle even this type of disagreement in a gentle, meek spirit. Above all, pray without ceasing.